“Declaring Yourself An Alpha Male”: 55 Things That Are Not The Flexes People Think They Are

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While some things people do are genuinely impressive, many others are not; but that doesn’t stop the latter group from bragging nevertheless. Be it the minuscule number of hours they slept or the number of social media followers they have, such “achievements” might not be the flexes they think they are.

These and many other examples were shared by members of the ‘Ask Reddit’ community, after the user ‘LeatherFruitPF’ started a discussion about it. They asked the netizens about things that aren’t the flexes people believe they are, and the redditors had plenty to share. Scroll down to find their answers on the list below and see for yourself what’s simply not worth bragging about.

“Declaring Yourself An Alpha Male”: 55 Things That Are Not The Flexes People Think They Are Being proud about being uneducated. Bragging about having never read a book. “Went to the school of hard knocks” type of s**t annoys me. I have no problem with someone who isn’t educated. But if you’re flexing about it, you’re a moron.

Alarming-Complaint47 , Wallace Chuck/pexels Report

“Declaring Yourself An Alpha Male”: 55 Things That Are Not The Flexes People Think They Are
Declaring yourself an alpha male. I guess that means something in your little subculture, but to the rest of us, that’s just head-scratchingly silly.

TrooperJohn , emre keshavarz/pexels Report

“Declaring Yourself An Alpha Male”: 55 Things That Are Not The Flexes People Think They Are Literally anything you have to try flexing. The most genuinely impressive things by nature do not require you to rub them in peoples faces.

Dune1008 , Vanessa Garcia/pexels Report

“Declaring Yourself An Alpha Male”: 55 Things That Are Not The Flexes People Think They Are The ceo of the company I work for was just featured on the cover of a magazine talking about how great their company culture is.

One of his points was how the company set up a program to annually nominate a coworker who can’t afford Christmas where their other employees donate to them. He used this to brag about our amazing culture

To me this reads as, we pay our employee so poorly that on an yearly basis we have so many employees who can’t afford Christmas we have to nominate who needs help the most and then we guilt trip our other grossly underpaid employees to compensate for it.

So basically any company that brags about culture due to their employees helping out other employees when it comes to financial stresses most likely cause by poor pay. I would say “donating” PTO falls into this category as well. 

notgraceful11199 , Dinielle De Veyra/pexels Report

Westerners moving to Dubai and flaunting their new lavish lifestyle. You’re basically validating the use of slaves to build that dystopic s**thole.

barry3428 Report

“Declaring Yourself An Alpha Male”: 55 Things That Are Not The Flexes People Think They Are Having an expensive, usually large designer/ purebred dog, or a wolf hybrid. But especially having a husky.

All it shows me is the 90% chance you didn’t do the research OR, that you gaslit yourself into thinking you’d seriously go running that much.

Sincerely,

The neighbor that catches several f*****g bored, escaped huskies per year in my suburb.

A husky is a WORKING dog that, in its ideal life, would be RUNNING 50-100 miles a day *while* pulling heavy cargo– and if you don’t find a way to simulate that, well. This is a dog that is going to *find* a way to simulate that. Usually by eating your house, and or yeeting itself over your adorable little fence and chasing everything that moves.

I love dogs, but I hate most husky owners.

AdultDisappointment , ROMAN ODINTSOV/pexels Report

“Declaring Yourself An Alpha Male”: 55 Things That Are Not The Flexes People Think They Are Men bragging that they’ve never changed one of their kids’ diapers in their lifetime. Basically you’ve just outed yourself as a s****y, uninvolved parent and a s****y partner.

AdSouth5657 , Karolina Grabowska/pexels Report

Perfect attendance in school.

As an adult, as I’ve noticed kids with stuff like health issues, family issues, etc. where they have no choice but to miss school, I’ve come to realize that perfect attendance isn’t a flex. It’s just having luck in life circumstances.

buckyhermit Report

Being disrespectful to the disabled or weird kids as a joke.

BatDamon1 Report

“Declaring Yourself An Alpha Male”: 55 Things That Are Not The Flexes People Think They Are Flashing large amounts of cash. It’s just makes it look like that’s all the money you have, and you are too poor to have a bank account.

Griffin880 , Lukas /pexels Report

“Declaring Yourself An Alpha Male”: 55 Things That Are Not The Flexes People Think They Are Being a nihilist who complains about how meaningless life is and how awful all human beings are, and how the world will be so much better when we all die.

Newsflash to every redditor: It doesn’t make you smarter or more enlightened than everyone else. It’s just sad behavior tbh.

anon , Keira Burton/pexels Report

Anything you had zero choice in. Your sex, skin color, nationality, sexual orientation.

Rajili Report

Being a member of MENSA.

It’s really, really not hard to get in, and it’s really, really not something that *anyone* outside of MENSA actually cares about.

Edit: for all the edgelords asking if I was dumped by a MENSA member, if I failed to get in, etc… no, the context is I’m a psych and worked in assessment for years so saw plenty of MENSA advocates (and mostly they did not have superior-level IQs).

Also ETA: 🤣 TIL it’s an insult in Spanish, gracias ustedes!

Sweeper1985 Report

Having a work calendar booked wall-to-wall with meetings. It’s usually an executive or upper management type.

Being on calls all day is not good for you or the company. If you’re in charge you can decide which meetings are worth your attendance. Also should be delegating more.

Finally, not leaving anyone else a chance to ever book a meeting with you is just an a-hole move.

jbluft1894 Report

Leaving tags on clothes/hats/shoes. Just looks like you’re planning to return it.

all_hail_to_me Report

Boasting/bragging about lots of money or material things.

Move in silence.. why does everyone care so much about image?

anon Report

“Declaring Yourself An Alpha Male”: 55 Things That Are Not The Flexes People Think They Are Mom’s who post videos of themselves with tons of kids while looking like s**t themselves thinking they’re saints for “sacrificing” themselves to raise their kids.

MissDryCunt , Ketut Subiyanto/pexels Report

Buying $640/month over 8-9 years cars.

anon Report

Lifts and mods to vehicles. Especially trucks. It’s like the person’s entire personality is their lifted truck with it’s knobby off rust tires “I could never afford” that will never leave it’s safe space that is the pavement.

It’s always people who “need” XYZ for their truck, but they’re never gonna use XYZ. My truck is a work truck, and people tell me it’d look so much better with a lift. Well I disagree because I can just barely reach into my bed comfortably to get to my tools, and then they tell me I just “need” bed or box steps… It’s amazing they never see through their own stupidity.

dabluebunny Report


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